In Times of War How Can We Mindfully Rebuild?

Noah, Destruction, and Rebirth: How Can We Mindfully Rebuild?

This week’s Torah portion is chilling, all the more so light of the war that has been waged upon us: And it says: ותשחת הארץ לפני אלוקים ותמלא הארץ חמס

“And the earth was corrupt and the earth was filled with violence (חמס). “

Just a paragraph earlier we learn that the world was being populated and the men were taking women by force. There was evil all around. G-d considered whether to destroy the world that He had just created. But then there was Noach, who found favor and was righteous. He was singly chosen to carry on the human race. We are meant to learn lessons from what is written in the Torah: The world cannot continue to exist with corruption and violence.

What we have witnessed with Hamas’ brutal and bloodthirsty attack on our citizens is, to say the least, very difficult to absorb and imagine (I hope you are limiting your exposure to details and images). That is because most of us are not evil and barbaric, and we don’t have the capacity to fathom such savagery.

In Genesis, light was created on the first day and the fourth day, but according to our sages, the light on the first day is a spiritual light, a light which can also be our potential to do good in this world. And that is what we have seen– the worst evil imaginable, AND the most incredible outpouring of good and positive acts all around the world. We were created with free will. We have the potential for good and evil.

Noach is chosen to rebuild after this corruption, violence and destruction. And it takes many weeks for this to happen. When he steps out of the ark after about 370 days, he is understandably shaken. The first act he does is to make an offering of thanksgiving.

The second one is to plant a vineyard.

And this is Jewish history in a nutshell. There is a tragedy or worse, destruction, and then we rebuild. It takes a while. It’s a process that is unfolding before our eyes.

We will rebuild.

But how do we keep ourselves grounded during this very difficult period and tap into our natural resilience?

Much has been written about self-care– limiting exposure to the news, getting sleep, eating healthy, exercising, having social contact, volunteering, asking for help, and so on.

Here is a mindfulness practice that you can do anytime or anywhere when you feel overwhelmed. It’s called the STOP practice.

STOP is an acronym for: Stop, Take a breath, Observe your feelings, body sensations and thoughts, and Proceed.

Here are some instructions for the practice:

The STOP practice can help whenever you’re feeling distress, creating space to observe and tame your feelings, and to access natural strengths and resources within you.

The practice is helpful if you need support to move through intense feelings so that you can note them and set them aside for the moment, with the intention of reflecting on them more deeply later.

We observe what we are experiencing, and after the practice, we reflect on the situation that we are in as a whole, which can promote even further growth.

Reactivity is part of what it means to be a human being. The question is this: How do we meet our reactivity with the intention of transforming it into healthy reactions in our everyday lives?

We do it by practicing mindfulness as if our very lives depended on it, as Jon Kabat-Zinn says, "Because right now they do."

At the first sign of being upset or stressed, practice this self-care technique.

STOP Practice:

Stop what you are doing and take a pause.

Take a few deep breaths. This helps bring you into the present moment.

Observe your experience just as it is.

Ask yourself:

“What emotions am I feeling?” Research shows that just naming your emotions can have a calming effect.

“What am I experiencing in my body? Am I tense or hungry?”

“What thoughts are present?”

Proceed by asking yourself “What do I need right now?” Find something that will support you in the moment: time for yourself, talking to a friend, or maybe going for a walk.

“What would be a helpful response to this situation?”

Our day to day life presents us with many opportunities to check in with ourselves to monitor and regulate what we are feeling and thinking. All feelings and reactions are welcome. We don’t judge whatever we are feeling or thinking.

Take a moment throughout your day to check in and become aware of how you are feeling and what you are thinking to give yourself a reset.

Taking one minute to use this technique will help bring you into the present moment and give you the ability to better handle life’s challenges.

May we soon share together in healing and rebuilding and find strength and support when we need it.

www.mindfulnesswithsusie.com

The Meaning Behind Finding Joy: A Mindful Sukkot

A Mindful Sukkot

The holiday of Sukkot is known as a time of joy -- v’samachta b’chageicha, v’hayita ach sameach, which means you should rejoice in your festival and be fully happy.

This celebration comes only four days after profound reflection during Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, shifting from a solemn atmosphere to one of joy and thanksgiving as we start a new season: autumn.

Autumn is the backdrop of Sukkot, and it fits perfectly with the gathering of summer crops and fruits—a period that is ripe with joy.

We shift from the introspection of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, which prompts us to look inward, to Sukkot, which encourages outward joy and gratitude for the earth's abundance. It's only natural to rejoice in the blessings bestowed upon us as we gather our crops.

Sukkot is the ultimate holiday to practice mindfulness --okay, every holiday is a perfect time to practice mindfulness! As we sit in our booth (sukkah) we are literally surrounded by reminders all around which help us focus and be mindful of one of the main messages of the holiday: gratitude.

Many of us are probably not connected to the daily rhythms of weather and the agricultural cycle. Sukkot serves as a reminder to be mindful and appreciate agricultural blessings, even for those who are not close to the farming lifestyle.

To help us really feel this connection, the symbolic "four species" (arba minim) that we hold during Sukkot—a citron (etrog), date-palm branch (lulav), myrtle leaves (hadassim), and willow branches (aravot)—echo the themes of planting and harvesting and our connection to the land.

We smell the four species and shake them back and forth as an expression of our thanksgiving to G-d for the abundance we receive from the land.

And Sukkot is also a natural opportunity to practice mindful eating. How much thought do most of us give to where our food came from– someone planted it, worked the field, prayed for just the right amount of sun and rain, harvested the crops and sorted them before they were sent to the warehouse, where they were packed and finally made their way to our supermarket. Take a moment the next time you sit down to eat to reflect on where your food came from.

Another reason to feel joy this holiday is that we have just finished Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, a time of introspection and self improvement to fix our flaws or mend our ways.

Yom Kippur, despite its somber tone, can be a joyous occasion, offering us a chance to look inward, work on ourselves, and extend forgiveness to both ourselves and to others. What greater joy is there than being granted new opportunities and a fresh start?! Self-reflection is literally a gift we can give to ourselves.

Getting back to Sukkot, I always found it interesting that the emotion of joy is commanded on this holiday.

What is joy?

Is it fleeting happiness that comes and goes?

Is it stopping to “smell the roses?”

Is it partying until the wee hours or going to hear your favorite band?

Is it contentment, or being happy and grateful for what we have?

Is it having meaning in our lives?

Or maybe it’s a combination of all of the above?

To cultivate happiness, contentment and meaning we have to understand their essence.

We often associate being happy with being content. What's the difference? Contentment is being happy with what you have. It doesn’t mean that you don’t notice what is lacking in your life, but you are able to see and appreciate what you do have.

For example, maybe you dreamed of living in a big house, but instead live in a small apartment. You might learn to appreciate being surrounded by nice neighbors (hopefully) and not having the burden of taking care of a big house.

Gratitude is another component of joy.

Gratitude is acknowledging, recognizing and being thankful for what we have received and the goodness or support of others, and the beauty around us. It keeps us attuned to the gifts that have come our way.

And finally, meaning.

Meaning is the belief that your life matters, that it has purpose, that what you do is significant, and that you actively pursue what is important to you.

Viktor Frankl, psychiatrist and founder of logotherapy, wrote that anything we do can be important, and meaning can be found everywhere.

Frankl believed that we are each responsible for finding our own meaning in our lives. Amidst the horrors of a Nazi concentration camp, he found meaning among suffering. In Man’s Search for Meaning, he wrote that we each bear the responsibility of finding purpose in our lives. Frankl believed that we can find meaning everywhere and at any time, whether in times of suffering or in joyous moments.

That's difficult to put into practice. Not all of us are able to find meaning in misery and suffering but most of us can find meaning in a job, with family or friends, or in everyday experiences such as taking a walk in nature or meeting a friend.

Clarifying your values and what matters to you will help you to find meaning.

Meaning is not just found in one place. It can be found all around us—in our relationships, work, and in spiritual and religious beliefs, as well as through appreciating life’s everyday moments.

Mindfulness practice facilitates growing and cultivating awareness of what is most important to us.

When the mind is at ease, our core essence and true nature can become more accessible.

And when we can accept the way things are without resisting them, we have more energy to plant seeds of gratitude and meaning in our lives.

Mindfulness based stress reduction can help us reduce stress and notice and appreciate moments of joy.

Joy can be found in noticing a calming breath or from an everyday routine activity.

However you define happiness or joy, how will you find it this new year?

Take the opportunity now to care for yourself and discover joy in the simplest of moments.

To learn more about mindfulness:

https://www.mindfulnesswithsusie.com/courses/about-the-course

The Meaning Behind Finding Joy: A Mindful Sukkot

A Mindful Rosh Hashanah: How to Stop Panicking Before the Chagim

We are in the season of looking inward, reflecting on our behavior, and mending our ways.

It may seem daunting.

How does this work (for the specifics, you can ask your local Rabbi or read the Rambam’s Hilchot Teshuvah) ?

What’s the difference between our self- reflection on Rosh Hashanah and the process of mending our ways on Yom Kippur?

There is no vidui or confession in our Rosh Hashanah prayers, only on Yom Kippur.

Rav Akivah Tatz explains that Rosh Hashanah is the day that we work on who we are, or what we have become and the essence of ourselves, and that is why we don’t say vidui about our specific misdeeds. We reflect more on our basic character rather than individual things we have done.

Yom Kippur is the day that we get into the details of our distinct actions and behaviors.

So Rosh Hashanah is the macro soul searching and Yom Kippur is the micro soul searching.

Rosh Hashanah is the birthday of the world and a day of joy and celebration. We try to elevate ourselves above the details and focus on the bigger picture.

That’s a lot of self-reflection!

Mindfulness can help since it is a practice that encourages self-reflection in a kind and non-judgemental way. This season is a fitting time to deepen your practice.

Here are some ways that mindfulness can help us pay attention more:

We can STOP and notice the thoughts, sensations, and feelings that arise, as we are about to act or react, or after we make a mistake, and then notice, observe, and ask ourselves the following:

What stories are we telling ourselves about our behavior? Are we sure our stories are accurate or true or are they stories that we automatically repeat to ourselves?

Does this feel familiar, or does it happen in other situations?

What can we learn about ourselves from this situation?

We can take a moment before we move on and ask ourselves how we want to proceed.

How do we want to react the next time that we are in this situation?

Don’t shy away from understanding your mistakes. Instead try to be curious

about what went wrong.

Noticing our thoughts in a non-judgemental way can help us gain insight and possibly react differently the next time we are in the same situation.

Here are some ways mindfulness can enable us to approach our mistakes with kindness and self-compassion. We can say the following to ourselves:

“Mistakes are natural and human. I’m not alone.”

“I don’t have to be hard on myself because of this mistake and I can try to do better next time.”

“What would I say to a friend who made a mistake?”

“Noticing my own imperfections can help me to be kind to others when I notice that they are also not perfect.”

Self compassion is essential in mending our ways. When we become entangled in feelings of guilt and self-criticism, the task of altering our behavior can seem overwhelming , often leading us to repeat and strengthen the same patterns of behavior.

When we notice and pay attention to our mistakes in a kinder way, they can become opportunities to learn about ourselves, and this can lead to greater emotional intelligence, improved communication skills and relationships, and healthier decision making.

What shortcoming would you like to work on in yourself this year?

Shana Tova!

For a 6 minute podcast about a Mindful Yom Kippur:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nEPu8Ku6jQ

Or on Insight Timer:

https://www.insighttimer.com/skeinon/guided-meditations/mindful-yom-kippur-working-on-our-flaws

To Learn More About Mindfulness: www.mindfulnesswithsusie.com

Mindfulness Courses: https://www.mindfulnesswithsusie.com/courses/about-the-course