Mindfully Increasing Joy

Mindfully Increasing Joy and Cultivating Happiness in the Month of Adar

The new month of Adar is upon us. And with it, the well-known expression “when

Adar enters; we increase joy.”

According to the Chassidic Rebbe, Chaim Elazar Spira, (Minchas Elazar)

“Whatever we can do to increase joy - there is a mitzvah in doing so, and each person has to evaluate this according to his own heart and soul... It is a mitzvah, insofar as possible, to increase the mitzvah-related joy in his heart and in his affairs”

It's a mitzvah to increase happiness, but there's no guidebook.

“Everyone according to his own heart and soul “ is not exactly a how-to manual.

Happiness is something we can cultivate with practice!

In 2014, the United Nations General Assembly proclaimed March 20 to be the International Day of Happiness. It’s easy to understand why they see happiness as something to celebrate: Happy people are healthier; they get sick less often and live longer.

Happiness is not just a personal issue; it’s a matter of public health and national well-being.

Below are a few happiness exercises to get you started by the Greater Good Science Center in Berkley. They suggest several happiness practices to increase joy and well being. Here are a few for you to try:

1) Three Good Things exercise- Keep a journal and write down positive things from your day. At the end of your day, write down three things that were positive and made you feel good, including how they made you feel. For example, something kind a colleague or family member said to you, enjoying a cup of coffee, or something nice you saw while walking. And then briefly explain why you think each good thing happened-which focuses your attention on the sources of goodness that surround you.

Make some time for yourself to think about these good things.

2) Meaningful Pictures

Remembering positive events is not the only way to happiness– finding and appreciating meaning in our lives can also bring us happiness.

During the week, look for sources of meaning in your life such as family, friends, work experiences, and hobbies. Take about 10 pictures of things that are meaningful to you. At the end of the week, spend some time reflecting on them: What does each photo represent, and why is what was photographed meaningful to you?

Write down some of those thoughts if it’s helpful.

3) Use Your Strengths exercise- invites you to consider your strengths. It’s easy for us to focus on our weaknesses and things we don’t like about ourselves. In this practice, every day we choose one or more of our strengths or positive attributes during the course of a week. A few examples include curiosity, creativity, kindness, humor, and justice. You can choose the same strength or work on different ones.

We make a plan to utilize our positive attributes in a new way. For example,

creativity in a work project, or curiosity for our partner’s or children’s interests.

At the end of the week, write about what you did, how it made you feel, and what

you learned.

4) Random Acts of Kindness is doing something nice for someone else, just because you want to, with no ulterior motive. Being kind makes us feel better, and helps us

to thrive in our communities and societies.

It doesn't matter if we know the person or not.

Here are a few examples:

• Giving compliments

• Showing gratitude

• Doing an act of service for someone else

• Giving your time to someone else (volunteering)

When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.

Abraham Joshua Heschel

Practicing cultivating happiness is not meant to ignore or negate unpleasant things or annoyances that happen to us in life, but it can’t hurt to spend some more time appreciating and seeing the good in our lives.

The month of Adar is a wonderful time to cultivate happiness!

To listen to this podcast with a guided mindfulness meditation on Insight Timer: https://insighttimer.com/skeinon/guided-meditations/cultivating-happiness-and-purim

To learn about living mindfully and mindfulness-based stress reduction with Susie:

https://www.mindfulnesswithsusie.com/about-the-mindfulness-course-with-susie

Letting Go: A Lesson from Beshalach

In this week’s Torah portion, Beshalach, we follow Am Yisrael in the moments after their liberation from slavery in Egypt.

Standing at the edge of the Red Sea, they suddenly see the Egyptian army approaching. Panic sets in. In fear and desperation, they cry out, even sarcastically asking if they were brought into the wilderness because there were no graves in Egypt.

“It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness,” they say.

In that moment, they struggle to trust—both in Moses and in G-d.

After 430 years of slavery, although they had physically left Egypt, they still carried the weight of their past within them: patterns of passivity, fear, and dependence. Even in freedom, they clung to the mindset of a slave.

They no longer needed that “baggage.”And yet, letting go is not so simple.

In our own lives, we often hold on to things that no longer serve us—habitual worries, painful memories, ingrained reactions, and limiting beliefs.

Sometimes, especially when it comes to the past, the first step is acceptance: acknowledging what we are holding, and only then beginning the process of letting go.

This is where growth begins.

Paradoxically, even painful emotions can feel familiar—sometimes even comfortable—because they are known to us. Letting go can feel like losing a part of ourselves.

As Carl Jung said:“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”

Yet truly internalizing this is not easy.

One way to do so is through mindful meditation: becoming aware of what we are experiencing in this moment, and noticing what thoughts or feelings about the past or future are intruding on our minds. When we stop trying to hold on to these thoughts, feelings or sensations, or whatever it is that doesn’t serve us well, we actually become freer to live with ease. Through mindful awareness, we begin to notice what is arising in the present moment such as thoughts, feelings, and sensations. We also begin to see how often our minds are pulled into the past or the future.

When we stop clinging or holding on—when we gently release what does not serve us, we create space for greater ease and freedom.

Meditation helps us put this into practice. We begin to see that thoughts and sensations are not fixed; they are constantly shifting. Instead of getting caught in them, we can learn to observe them—and let them pass.

A Practice of Letting Go: Body Scan

One way to explore letting go is through a simple body scan. Getting settled into a comfortable position– seated or lying down. Closing your eyes if you like. And noticing the contact that your body makes with the surface that supports you– such as the chair, cushion, or mattress. Taking a few conscious breaths. Allowing your body to sink a bit more with each breath (pause)

Noticing the air as it enters your nose, and as it leaves your nose or mouth. Noticing the movement of your chest as you breathe. Noticing the rise and fall of your stomach as you breathe in ….and breathe out. (pause) Gently scanning your body for any sensations – tension, tightness, heaviness, warmth, trembling, or lightness. So taking some time to check in with your body. (pause) And imagining directing your breath to an area in your body with a sensation or sensations that you notice (pause) Noticing your mind right now– is it alert, distracted, bored, relaxed, or something else? And paying to attention to your thoughts –such as the thoughts that might be automatic and self-critical. Is there a thought that you could let go of right now? A thought that doesn’t serve you or is holding you back? Is this thought true? Does this thought help you? Imagining with every out -breath that you are slowly releasing this thought. (pause) Noticing any reactions of resistance to letting this go. Noticing any feelings of lightness or freedom. Shifting our attention to our hearts and the area around the heart. Breathing towards this area. Noticing whatever feelings or sensations are coming up right now. (pause) Imagining releasing whatever is making your heart heavy right now such as a worry, frustration or regret. Breathing freely. Noticing if there are any sensations of lightness. As this practice comes to an end, can you take a moment and appreciate the effort you’re making to live more with ease and let go of the things that burden you? When you’re ready, bringing your attention back to the room and slowly opening your eyes if they were closed. Consider making an intention to do this practice on a regular basis. Letting go of what we don't need is difficult but can free us up to be more present in our lives and live with ease. It requires us to trust in ourselves (and others) and believe that we will be taken care of, just as the Israelites were taken care of at the Red Sea. Holding on to the past not only holds us back from growth but also prevents us from experiencing the fullness of life.

Shabbat Shalom

LISTEN TO THIS GUIDED PRACTICE ON INSIGHT TIMER: https://insighttimer.com/skeinon/guided-meditations/letting-go-and-parshat-beshalach

ON THE APP: https://insig.ht/pKBaqoAEfxb

Let the Light In: Using Mindfulness to Cope With Darkness

In this week's Torah portion,Toldot, we are told that Yitzchak marries Rivkah at age 40. He is comforted from the loss of his mother, Sarah, when he marries her. In last week's Torah portion, we read how much he was comforted by Rivkah's presence. Rashi says that for the entire time that Sarah was alive, there was a constant light illuminating from her tent that was connected to her merit. This light returned when Rivka came into the tent. Yitzchak's darkness lifted.

Most of us have a little darkness now and then -- you know those days when, for whatever reasons, we feel a bit heavy, disconnected or less motivated than usual.

Sometimes the feeling comes after loss or sudden change. It could be sadness or grief, or just generally feeling blah. Or maybe it shows up out of the blue for no apparent reason whatsoever. It can make us feel empty, irritable, tired, guilty, and feeling bad about ourselves, and even frustrated or anxious after trying to “fix” whatever is wrong with us.

Sometimes we tend to avoid or resist what we’re feeling or numb ourselves with substances or activities that divert our attention, thinking we can push away the darkness, which only exacerbates the problem. Sometimes nothing we do seems to help. What if we learn to approach ourselves with patience and self-compassion and learn to become aware of whatever we’re feeling without being swallowed up by it?

In mindfulness, we intentionally turn -- with curiosity -- toward experiences that we might avoid. We "befriend" our experiences. Turning towards all our experiences can help us to shed some light on them.

One way to deal with thoughts is to examine them, another way is to observe sensations in our bodies. Sensations such as tension, pressure, heat, cold, tightness, heaviness or butterflies in the stomach. As trauma expert Bessel Van Der Kolk wrote, “our body keeps the score.” In other words, whatever we are experiencing in our minds also shows up somehow in our bodies. There's a constant connection between your body and mind, known as the mind-body connection.

Many of us may notice our thoughts and maybe feelings, but not necessarily our bodies and their physical sensations. We can learn a lot by paying attention to our physical sensations by taking a moment to notice what we’re feeling in our bodies. We can train ourselves to “get out of our heads” and notice what we are experiencing in the present moment, as opposed to regrets about the past or worries about the future. We work on practicing placing our attention where we want it to go, rather than ruminating, or thinking about something over and over. We recognize that thoughts come and go, and that they’re not necessarily facts. We try to accept the way things are, rather than wanting things to be different than they are. When we practice mindful meditation, we practice noticing our sensations, feelings and thoughts, without getting tangled up in them, which can help us see things in a fresh way.

How can we shed more light on our thoughts, feelings and sensations to improve mood and well-being?

How can we get more light on these days of less light? Light candles.

Candles play an important part in Jewish ritual. We light candles to remember Shabbat and bring light into our homes. We will soon celebrate Chanukah. The candles we light symbolize the ner tamid ("eternal light") from the Temple and the miracle of the continued illumination of the menorah, even though there was very little oil left. The Chanukah lights are placed in the window as a symbol to remind us that darkness can be dispelled with hope.

Here is a mindfulness meditation using a candle as the focus of the meditation.

You can observe your Chanukiah after you light it.

During the meditation, you will train yourself to focus your mind and your gaze on the flame, especially when thoughts come up and pull at your attention. Thoughts are natural but we can train ourselves to simply observe these thoughts rather than interact with them, and candle meditation is a good way to try this.

Instructions for Candle Meditation (5-10 minutes):

-Find a space where you won’t be disturbed. Sit straight, but relaxed. and make sure that your candle is at least 50cm/20 inches away from you, and

start to notice your breath. Breathing in, and breathing out.

-Stare at the candle and allow it to be the main focus of your mind.

-Hold your eyes steady.

-Take a few moments to bring your awareness to the flame – notice its color, how big or small it is. How does it feel to notice the candle in this way?

- When you feel distracted or bored –return your attention to the flame.

-When you feel your eyes getting tired or watery, you can close your eyes and focus your awareness on the image of the candle in your mind. Once you feel that the eyes are ready, you can open them again and focus once again on the candle

-Allow your breath to flow naturally without controlling it in any way.

-As you focus on the candle, imagine the light flowing into you with each inhalation.

-Continue to keep your eyes fixed on the flame.

Where is your mind right now? Return your attention to the candle when your mind has wandered.

-Taking a few more breaths to focus on the candle.

-Take a moment to slowly return your gaze and attention to the room.

The story of Chanukah teaches us that light can triumph over dark

As the winter begins and we experience more darkness, may we enable more light to enter our lives, giving us the capacity to manage the darker days with acceptance and patience. Winter, therefore, is a perfect time to start a mindful meditation practice.

Mindfulness to Cope With Darkness

For more information about the mindfulness course with Susie:

https://www.mindfulnesswithsusie.com/about-the-mindfulness-course-with-susie

Mindfulness With Susie