Letting Go and Parshat Beshalach

In this week’s Torah portion, Beshalach, we learn about Am Yisrael's experiences after they were freed from slavery in Egypt. Standing at the Red Sea, they see the Egyptian forces approaching on chariots. The people cry out in panic and ask sarcastically if they were brought to the wilderness because there were no graves in Egypt.

"It is better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness,” they moaned. They lacked faith in Moses and in G-d. They were enslaved in Egypt for 430 years and although they received their freedom, they brought the heavy baggage of their past experiences with them such as being passive, timid, and dependent on their masters for their daily bread. Now that they were free and had G-d and Moshe to rely on, they didn’t need that baggage anymore. They could have shed those traits.

Nevertheless, they continued to cling to the mindset of a slave.

Similarly, in our own lives, we often cling to things that don’t serve us well, such as habitual worries, past experiences, bad habits and automatic reactions. In some cases, especially when it comes to the past, all you can do is accept whatever it is you’re holding on to, and then work on letting it go.

That’s how to bring about change and growth. Painful feelings can be familiar and comfortable, especially if they are all you know. Some people have trouble letting go of their pain or other unpleasant emotions about their past because they think those feelings are part of who they are. Carl Jung said, “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” Internalizing that, however, is not so simple. One way to do so is through mindful meditation: becoming aware of what we are experiencing in this moment, and noticing what thoughts or feelings about the past or future are intruding on our minds. When we stop trying to hold on to these thoughts, feelings or sensations, or whatever it is that doesn’t serve us well, we actually become freer to live with ease. Meditation is one of the best ways to practice this. When we meditate, we notice how thoughts, sensations, and events are dynamic and changing. We practice letting go—rather than getting caught up in our thoughts and feelings and treating them as a personal threat. Whatever we yearn to let go of, we can practice letting go by checking in with the body and by consciously inviting a gentle release of whatever we are holding onto. One way to explore this idea o letting go is the practice of a body scan. As you go through areas of your body and notice different sensations, thoughts or feelings, take a few breaths. And imagine lightly resting your attention there, softening and letting go. Letting go is a practice of acknowledging and also surrendering what no longer serves us. It invites us to connect to the present moment by giving attention to and observing the body and the mind. This can bring a softening or release. Let’s try a short body scan with the intention of releasing or letting go of what lies heavy on our minds and hearts. Getting settled into a comfortable position– seated or lying down. Closing your eyes if you like. And noticing the contact that your body makes with the surface that supports you– such as the chair, cushion, or mattress. Taking a few conscious breaths. Allowing your body to sink a bit more with each breath (pause)

Noticing the air as it enters your nose, and as it leaves your nose or mouth. Noticing the movement of your chest as you breathe. Noticing the rise and fall of your stomach as you breathe in ….and breathe out. (pause) Gently scanning your body for any sensations – tension, tightness, heaviness, warmth, trembling, or lightness. So taking some time to check in with your body. (pause) And imagining directing your breath to an area in your body with a sensation or sensations that you notice (pause) Noticing your mind right now– is it alert, distracted, bored, relaxed, or something else? And paying to attention to your thoughts –such as the thoughts that might be automatic and self-critical. Is there a thought that you could let go of right now? A thought that doesn’t serve you or is holding you back? Is this thought true? Does this thought help you? Imagining with every out -breath that you are slowly releasing this thought. (pause) Noticing any reactions of resistance to letting this go. Noticing any feelings of lightness or freedom. Shifting our attention to our hearts and the area around the heart. Breathing towards this area. Noticing whatever feelings or sensations are coming up right now. (pause) Imagining releasing whatever is making your heart heavy right now such as a worry, frustration or regret. Breathing freely. Noticing if there are any sensations of lightness. As this practice comes to an end, can you take a moment and appreciate the effort you’re making to live more with ease and let go of the things that burden you? When you’re ready, bringing your attention back to the room and slowly opening your eyes if they were closed. Perhaps making an intention to do this practice on a regular basis. Letting go of what we don't need is difficult but can free us up to be more present in our lives and live with ease. It requires us to trust in ourselves (and others) and believe that we will be taken care of, just as the Israelites were taken care of at the Red Sea. Holding on to the past not only holds us back from growth but also prevents us from experiencing the fullness of life.

Shabbat Shalom

LISTEN TO THIS GUIDED PRACTICE ON INSIGHT TIMER: https://insighttimer.com/skeinon/guided-meditations/letting-go-and-parshat-beshalach

ON THE APP: https://insig.ht/pKBaqoAEfxb

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Replenishing Our Energy and Light

In this week’s Torah portion, Bo, we learn about the 9th plague, darkness, in great detail. It was so all-encompassing that it was literally felt or palpable ( וימש חושך) or as R. Shimshon Rafael Hirsch explains, it was so all-encompassing that the people were cut off from each other and their possessions and had to feel their way around.

What can we do to deal with occasional darkness or heaviness, especially at the end of the week?

Start by taking a mindful breath. Notice what you’re feeling. Continue to breathe and check in not only with the sensations in your body, but ask yourself what you need right now.

We have an opportunity to do this every week when we light candles before Shabbat.

As you observe the flames from your candles, say to yourself that it’s time to rest.

Resting takes a lot of work. Many people are great at doing and achieving, but find it hard to stop.

True rest is replenishing our energy. During the week we are pulled in many directions, and our activities might drain us so we need to draw energy back to be replenished and renewed.

As we light candles for Shabbat, we wave our hands near the candles toward us.

Maybe this is symbolizing drawing light and energy inward?

After expending our energy outward, we can draw energy back to us. As you light candles before Shabbat, imagine taking the light and bringing it toward you.

You can stop, take a moment, and think about all the parts of yourself that need care this week. Where has light been missing? If your back aches or your heart has been hurt, imagine bringing some light from the candles toward you and allowing some of the light to seep in.

Is there anyone that you want to share this light with? Wave the light from the candles to the sides, to share it with people you care about. Pause for a deep breath, close your eyes, and think of all the people in your life who need this light too.

Stay there as long as you need to.

Shabbat Shalom. שבת מנוחה, a restful Shabbat.

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Let the Light In: Using Mindfulness to Cope With Darkness

In this week's Torah portion,Toldot, we are told that Yitzchak marries Rivkah at age 40. He is comforted from the loss of his mother, Sarah, when he marries her. In last week's Torah portion, we read how much he was comforted by Rivkah's presence. Rashi says that for the entire time that Sarah was alive, there was a constant light illuminating from her tent that was connected to her merit. This light returned when Rivka came into the tent. Yitzchak's darkness lifted.

Most of us have a little darkness now and then -- you know those days when, for whatever reasons, we feel a bit heavy, disconnected or less motivated than usual.

Sometimes the feeling comes after loss or sudden change. It could be sadness or grief, or just generally feeling blah. Or maybe it shows up out of the blue for no apparent reason whatsoever. It can make us feel empty, irritable, tired, guilty, and feeling bad about ourselves, and even frustrated or anxious after trying to “fix” whatever is wrong with us.

Sometimes we tend to avoid or resist what we’re feeling or numb ourselves with substances or activities that divert our attention, thinking we can push away the darkness, which only exacerbates the problem. Sometimes nothing we do seems to help. What if we learn to approach ourselves with patience and self-compassion and learn to become aware of whatever we’re feeling without being swallowed up by it?

In mindfulness, we intentionally turn -- with curiosity -- toward experiences that we might avoid. We "befriend" our experiences. Turning towards all our experiences can help us to shed some light on them.

One way to deal with thoughts is to examine them, another way is to observe sensations in our bodies. Sensations such as tension, pressure, heat, cold, tightness, heaviness or butterflies in the stomach. As trauma expert Bessel Van Der Kolk wrote, “our body keeps the score.” In other words, whatever we are experiencing in our minds also shows up somehow in our bodies. There's a constant connection between your body and mind, known as the mind-body connection.

Many of us may notice our thoughts and maybe feelings, but not necessarily our bodies and their physical sensations. We can learn a lot by paying attention to our physical sensations by taking a moment to notice what we’re feeling in our bodies. We can train ourselves to “get out of our heads” and notice what we are experiencing in the present moment, as opposed to regrets about the past or worries about the future. We work on practicing placing our attention where we want it to go, rather than ruminating, or thinking about something over and over. We recognize that thoughts come and go, and that they’re not necessarily facts. We try to accept the way things are, rather than wanting things to be different than they are. When we practice mindful meditation, we practice noticing our sensations, feelings and thoughts, without getting tangled up in them, which can help us see things in a fresh way.

How can we shed more light on our thoughts, feelings and sensations to improve mood and well-being?

How can we get more light on these days of less light? Light candles.

Candles play an important part in Jewish ritual. We light candles to remember Shabbat and bring light into our homes. We will soon celebrate Chanukah. The candles we light symbolize the ner tamid ("eternal light") from the Temple and the miracle of the continued illumination of the menorah, even though there was very little oil left. The Chanukah lights are placed in the window as a symbol to remind us that darkness can be dispelled with hope.

Here is a mindfulness meditation using a candle as the focus of the meditation.

You can observe your Chanukiah after you light it.

During the meditation, you will train yourself to focus your mind and your gaze on the flame, especially when thoughts come up and pull at your attention. Thoughts are natural but we can train ourselves to simply observe these thoughts rather than interact with them, and candle meditation is a good way to try this.

Instructions for Candle Meditation (5-10 minutes):

-Find a space where you won’t be disturbed. Sit straight, but relaxed. and make sure that your candle is at least 50cm/20 inches away from you, and

start to notice your breath. Breathing in, and breathing out.

-Stare at the candle and allow it to be the main focus of your mind.

-Hold your eyes steady.

-Take a few moments to bring your awareness to the flame – notice its color, how big or small it is. How does it feel to notice the candle in this way?

- When you feel distracted or bored –return your attention to the flame.

-When you feel your eyes getting tired or watery, you can close your eyes and focus your awareness on the image of the candle in your mind. Once you feel that the eyes are ready, you can open them again and focus once again on the candle

-Allow your breath to flow naturally without controlling it in any way.

-As you focus on the candle, imagine the light flowing into you with each inhalation.

-Continue to keep your eyes fixed on the flame.

Where is your mind right now? Return your attention to the candle when your mind has wandered.

-Taking a few more breaths to focus on the candle.

-Take a moment to slowly return your gaze and attention to the room.

The story of Chanukah teaches us that light can triumph over dark

As the winter begins and we experience more darkness, may we enable more light to enter our lives, giving us the capacity to manage the darker days with acceptance and patience. Winter, therefore, is a perfect time to start a mindful meditation practice.

Mindfulness to Cope With Darkness

For more information about the mindfulness course with Susie:

https://www.mindfulnesswithsusie.com/about-the-mindfulness-course-with-susie

Mindfulness With Susie