Replenishing Our Energy and Light

In this week’s Torah portion, Bo, we learn about the 9th plague, darkness, in great detail. It was so all-encompassing that it was literally felt or palpable ( וימש חושך) or as R. Shimshon Rafael Hirsch explains, it was so all-encompassing that the people were cut off from each other and their possessions and had to feel their way around.

What can we do to deal with occasional darkness or heaviness, especially at the end of the week?

Start by taking a mindful breath. Notice what you’re feeling. Continue to breathe and check in not only with the sensations in your body, but ask yourself what you need right now.

We have an opportunity to do this every week when we light candles before Shabbat.

As you observe the flames from your candles, say to yourself that it’s time to rest.

Resting takes a lot of work. Many people are great at doing and achieving, but find it hard to stop.

True rest is replenishing our energy. During the week we are pulled in many directions, and our activities might drain us so we need to draw energy back to be replenished and renewed.

As we light candles for Shabbat, we wave our hands near the candles toward us.

Maybe this is symbolizing drawing light and energy inward?

After expending our energy outward, we can draw energy back to us. As you light candles before Shabbat, imagine taking the light and bringing it toward you.

You can stop, take a moment, and think about all the parts of yourself that need care this week. Where has light been missing? If your back aches or your heart has been hurt, imagine bringing some light from the candles toward you and allowing some of the light to seep in.

Is there anyone that you want to share this light with? Wave the light from the candles to the sides, to share it with people you care about. Pause for a deep breath, close your eyes, and think of all the people in your life who need this light too.

Stay there as long as you need to.

Shabbat Shalom. שבת מנוחה, a restful Shabbat.

mindfulnesswithsusie.com

What's In a Name

This week's Torah portion is called Shemot or names. The book of Shemot opens with names of the tribes and the families who went down to Egypt. From these seventy souls grew the Jewish nation. There were many birth pains along the way, especially the enslavement of the Jewish people in Egypt. Each person was independent and stands on their own, and yet each family is like a separate branch from which the Jewish nation, like a tree, is still growing today!

People like to name things to bring order to their world. In these chaotic times, we can bring some order to our uncertain world by naming-- naming what we are feeling, naming what we are experiencing, naming the sensations in our bodies.

A key aspect of mindfulness practice is noticing and observing without judgment what we are experiencing in the present moment or naming what we notice. This can put some distance between us and our thoughts and emotions. For example, naming emotions "fear" or "sadness" can allow us to acknowledge these feelings and perhaps lessen their impact. Allowing ourselves to acknowledge what we are feeling is important to our emotional well-being.

Even if we are not used to noticing and giving room to our sensations and feelings, now is a good time to try this practice. We have the ability not only to name our experiences but also to open ourselves up to new ones. We do not have to be locked into our perception of ourselves, or someone else's preconceived notions of who we are, which is connected to the name we are given. We are more than our given name. Our sages teach us that through our own choices and actions, each of us can name and rename ourselves.

Shabbat Shalom!

Let the Light In: Using Mindfulness to Cope With Darkness

In this week's Torah portion,Toldot, we are told that Yitzchak marries Rivkah at age 40. He is comforted from the loss of his mother, Sarah, when he marries her. In last week's Torah portion we read how much he was comforted by Rivkah's presence. Rashi says that for the entire time that Sarah was alive, there was a constant light illuminating from her tent that was connected to her merit. This light returned when Rivka came into the tent. Yitzchak's darkness lifted.

Most of us have a little darkness now and then -- you know those days when, for whatever reasons, we feel a bit heavy, disconnected or less motivated than usual.

Sometimes the feeling comes after loss or sudden change. It could be sadness or grief, or just generally feeling blah. Or maybe it shows up out of the blue for no apparent reason whatsoever. It can make us feel empty, irritable, tired, guilty, and feeling bad about ourselves, and even frustrated or anxious after trying to “fix” whatever is wrong with us.

Sometimes we tend to avoid or resist what we’re feeling or numb ourselves with substances or activities that divert our attention, thinking we can push away the darkness, which only exacerbates the problem. Sometimes nothing we do seems to help. What if we learn to approach ourselves with patience and self-compassion and learn to become aware of whatever we’re feeling without being swallowed up by it?

In mindfulness, we intentionally turn -- with curiosity -- toward experiences that we might avoid. We "befriend" our experiences. Turning towards all our experiences can help us to shed some light on them.

One way to deal with thoughts is to examine them, another way is to observe sensations in our bodies. Sensations such as tension, pressure, heat, cold, tightness, heaviness or butterflies in the stomach. As trauma expert Bessel Van Der Kolk wrote, “our body keeps the score.” In other words, whatever we are experiencing in our minds also shows up somehow in our bodies. There's a constant connection between your body and mind, known as the mind-body connection.

Many of us may notice our thoughts and maybe feelings, but not necessarily our bodies and their physical sensations. We can learn a lot by paying attention to our physical sensations by taking a moment to notice what we’re feeling in our bodies. We can train ourselves to “get out of our heads” and notice what we are experiencing in the present moment, as opposed to regrets about the past or worries about the future. We work on practicing placing our attention where we want it to go, rather than ruminating, or thinking about something over and over. We recognize that thoughts come and go, and that they’re not necessarily facts. We try to accept the way things are, rather than wanting things to be different than they are. When we practice mindful meditation, we practice noticing our sensations, feelings and thoughts, without getting tangled up in them, which can help us see things in a fresh way.

How can we shed more light on our thoughts, feelings and sensations to improve mood and well-being?

How can we get more light on these days of less light? Light candles.

Candles play an important part in Jewish ritual. We light candles to remember Shabbat and bring light into our homes. We will soon celebrate Chanukah. The candles we light symbolize the ner tamid ("eternal light") from the Temple and the miracle of the continued illumination of the menorah, even though there was very little oil left. The Chanukah lights are placed in the window as a symbol to remind us that darkness can be dispelled with hope.

Here is a mindfulness meditation using a candle as the focus of the meditation.

You can observe your Chanukiah after you light it.

During the meditation, you will train yourself to focus your mind and your gaze on the flame, especially when thoughts come up and pull at your attention. Thoughts are natural but we can train ourselves to simply observe these thoughts rather than interact with them, and candle meditation is a good way to try this.

Instructions for Candle Meditation (5-10 minutes) :

-Find a space where you won’t be disturbed. Sit straight, but relaxed. and make sure that your candle is at least 50cm/20 inches away from you, and

start to notice your breath. Breathing in, and breathing out.

-Stare at the candle and allow it to be the main focus of your mind.

-Hold your eyes steady.

-Take a few moments to bring your awareness to the flame – notice its color, how big or small it is. How does it feel to notice the candle in this way?

- When you feel distracted or bored –return your attention to the flame.

-When you feel your eyes getting tired or watery, you can close your eyes and focus your awareness on the image of the candle in your mind. Once you feel that the eyes are ready, you can open them again and focus once again on the candle

-Allow your breath to flow naturally without controlling it in any way.

-As you focus on the candle, imagine the light flowing into you with each inhalation.

-Continue to keep your eyes fixed on the flame.

Where is your mind right now? Return your attention to the candle when your mind has wandered.

-Taking a few more breaths to focus on the candle.

-Take a moment to slowly return your gaze and attention to the room.

The story of Chanukah teaches us that light can triumph over dark

As the winter begins and we experience more darkness, may we enable more light to enter our lives, giving us the capacity to manage the darker days with acceptance and patience. Winter, therefore, is a perfect time to start a mindful meditation practice.