What Is Light? Candle Meditation

Why do we call Chanukah the Festival of Lights?

What is light? (I’ll leave the physics to scientists).

Light is often viewed as a metaphor for wisdom or a deep spiritual experience, such as closeness to G-d.

And then there is the symbol of a light going off in someone’s head when understanding, or the “ah-ah moment.”

This time of year that we celebrate Chanukah, we have the shortest days of the year with the least amount of light.

And yet we naturally yearn for light, and hope.

So what do we do when things are dark?

Light candles!

One of the reasons we light candles is explained in The Talmud by one of our commentators (Rashi, Shabbat):

“... without light, there can be no peace, because [people] will constantly stumble and be compelled to eat in the dark ( Talmud, Shabbat 25b).”

Candles are also equated with joy in Judaism, drawing upon a passage in the biblical book of Esther, one of the many illusions to light in the Bible. It says:

The Jews had light and joy, and gladness and honor (Esther 8:16).

לַיְּהוּדִים הָיְתָה אוֹרָה וְשִׂמְחָה וְשָׂשׂן וִיקָר

In Jewish tradition, the candle's flame is also thought to symbolically represent the human soul and serves as a reminder of the frailty and beauty of life. The connection between the candle's flame and souls is found in Mishlei (Proverbs) 20:27:

"Man's soul is G-d’s lamp, which searches out all the innermost parts."

נֵר יְהוָה נִשְׁמַת אָדָם חֹפֵשׂ כָּל חַדְרֵי בָטֶן

A little candle that illuminates the dark also teaches us how much good a single person, or even a single act, can accomplish.

And just like a human soul, flames must breathe, change, grow, and, ultimately, fade away.

So the flickering of candles helps to remind us of how precious and fragile life is,

and also to appreciate and be grateful for what we have.

One way to help us to notice our feelings, sensations, and thoughts, is through meditation.

Here is a candle meditation that you can try after you light your candles.

Candle Meditation (5-10 minutes) (you can use the instructions as a guide. Feel free to do this at your own pace :

-To start this meditation, light a candle or candles.

-Find a space where you won’t be disturbed.

-Find a comfortable spot to sit. Sitting straight with shoulders relaxed.

-Make sure that your candle is at least 50cm/20 inches away from you, and

start to notice your breath. Breathing in, and breathing out.

-Stare at the candle and allow it to be the main focus of your mind.

-Hold your eyes steady.

-Take a few moments to bring your awareness to the flame :

Notice its color, or maybe there is more than one color;

How big or small it is;

What is the shape of the flame?

Is it emitting a lot of light or a little bit?

Is there an odor coming from the candle?

-How does it feel to notice the candle in this way?

And taking a moment to really take in the candle...

- When you feel distracted or bored, returning your attention to the flame.

-Allowing your eyes to blink or water if that happens.

-As you gaze at the candle, breathe.

-As you focus on the candle, imagine the light flowing into you with each inhalation(take a moment to allow yourself to receive the light).

-Continuing to keep your eyes fixed on the flame, and allowing yourself to breathe naturally.

Where is your mind right now?

Taking a few more breaths to focus on the candle.

-Taking a moment to slowly return your gaze and attention to the room at your own pace.

As the winter begins and we experience more darkness, may we recognize our own role, and if it’s fitting for you also G-d’s role, in bringing light into the world.

As we light candles in our homes, we can also use this as an opportunity to allow the light to illuminate our home and contemplate all our blessings.

*You can listen to this guided meditation on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3K8sFD78SqWp6W0zqHk7tE?si=EakKBKHfRc-1mwL-0Hp9bA&utm_source=native-share-menu

Can Mindfulness Help Us Face Our Fears?

Befriend Your Fears

In this week’s Torah portion, Jacob is about to meet his brother Esau after many years.

Several years earlier, he quickly fled. He was afraid that Esau would kill him because of the way he deceived his father to receive the blessing of the firstborn.

When this happened, Esau was burning mad.

Fast forward many years and Jacob is married with two wives, 12 children, and many possessions. He fears for both himself and his family.

He prays to G-d and evokes the names of his father and grandfather.

He is afraid that he might not be worthy of protection and blessings (קטונתי מכל החסדים) that were promised him. The Ramban explains that his reaction shows not only his fear, but also his humility. He prays for mercy and grace in case he is not worthy on his

own merit.

In times of fear, it is a natural reaction to call out to our parents. Anyone who has ever been in a delivery room has heard women giving birth scream out for their mothers.

That is one way of dealing with fear. But what other ways can we cope when we are afraid? Uncertainty is a part of life, and fear often helps to protect us in times of threat by compelling us into action.

How can we face our own fears?

You already know the answer!

Mindful meditation can help us see more clearly—to distinguish an imagined threat from a real threat that needs to be acted upon. Most of our fears are generated in our own minds and are the product of our vivid imaginations and our desire to control everything.

Mindfulness practice can help react in a more healthy way, and here’s how :

According to Dr. Jeffrey Brantley, author of Calming Your Anxious Mind,

1. Name The Fear

Being able to recognize that fear is present is important in not allowing it to control you.

Notice your body sensations: rapid heartbeat, chest tightening, sweaty palms, etc.

Take however many breaths you need to slow your body down.

Acknowledge to yourself: “I’m scared. I’m afraid.” Name that fear so you automatically create some distance between yourself and the thoughts or emotions from the fear.

2. Don’t Avoid the Fear, Lean Into It

Whenever you feel fear, don’t avoid the feeling. Sit with it.

As fearful thoughts of dread and worry continue to arise, approach them with gentleness. Don’t treat them as a threat.

Be kind toward yourself for being afraid. You may feel more confident to face your fears.

Jacob acknowledged his fear, prayed for safety and protection, and also had a plan of action. He was not paralyzed by the fear.

Try to befriend your fears.

Learning How to Meditate, Even If You Think You Can't

Overcoming Obstacles in Meditation

Meditation isn't as easy as it looks. Like most things, it takes practice.

We are taught to see our successes in terms of concrete results.

Meditation is not a thing; it’s a process that has several benefits.

You can benefit by observing the unfolding of your experiences.

The key is to learn to enjoy the process and accept some frustration.

Here is what some of my students have said :

My mind wanders all the time; I can't focus- my thoughts won't stop; I can't sit still;

I fall asleep; I just don't have the time; I'm not good at it; I'm impatient; It's boring.

Sound familiar?

What can you do to stick with your meditation practice?

Set realistic goals that are right for you. Don't compare yourself to others.

Five minutes a day is better than not trying at all.

And don't be too hard on yourself!

Thoughts and doubts will always arise, but keep coming back to your object of focus in a kind and gentle way, and over time it will become easier.

Here are five obstacles that have been in people’s way for thousands of years and the antidotes to get over them.

1. Doubt – The uncertainty about whether something will “work” or not often plagues many people at the beginning of their practice. The thought is, “this can work for others, but it won’t work for me.” Sometimes doubt is healthy, teaching us to look closely at things before we buy them. But the unhealthy doubt takes us away from experience before it teaches us anything.

Antidote: We have to remember that thoughts are just thoughts; they’re not facts (even the ones that say they are). When we notice this doubt slipping in, just take note of it, perhaps even notice the fear that is often underneath it, and then gently return back to the practice.

2. Restlessness – Let’s face it, it’s hard to sit still for a period of time when the mind can be so busy. We’re trained from a young age to do, do and do some more. The mind may rebel a bit when learning how “to be.” You might catch it running through a million to-do lists and try and count the minutes until the end of the practice. This is all completely natural.

Antidote: It’s important to recognize that restlessness and boredom are just sensations like any other. If you look deeply at restlessness or boredom, underneath it is often some form of anxiety or fear. But you don’t need to investigate it to reduce its impact, just naming it as you recognize it can really reduce its impact. You might even try adopting a beginner’s mind and getting curious about the sensation of restlessness. This is how you get back in the driver’s seat.

3. Irritation – Getting irritated occurs for many reasons. Maybe we don’t feel like we’re having a good meditation experience or there’s an annoying noise in the room or it’s a secondary emotion that comes after feeling restless. In other words, we’re irritated that we’re so restless in the practice. Antidote: While our urge is to resist the irritation, we have to remember the old adage “what we resist persists.” The work here is to include it as part of the mindful experience. As the saying goes, “It is what it is, while it is.”

Our work is to recognize the irritation, allow it to be there and we can either investigate it deeper or watch as it naturally comes and goes.

4. Sleepiness – Being the sleep-deprived nation that we are, it’s easy to feel a bit sleepy when we come down from our busy minds. Our body does what it naturally wants to do, go to rest. We also feel sleepy sometimes when an experience is overwhelming, so it’s good to be curious whether the tiredness is telling you that you need more rest or that there’s a feeling that needs to be expressed.

Antidote: If from time to time you fall asleep when meditating, consider it a good nap that you needed. However, if this is happening often you might try sitting in a more upright posture, standing up, having your eyes slightly open, or maybe splashing

some water on your face before starting.

5. Wanting – You’ll notice when you practice that your mind may fall into a state of wanting to be somewhere else than where you are. Or maybe it’s even more innocent of just wanting to get a bite to eat and so the mind starts drifting onto different food topics. Or before you even get to practice your mind wants conditions to be different than they are so you don’t even get to practice. This state of mind can either stop us from practicing or ignite restlessness, irritation, and others.

Antidote: If you notice this state of mind before you practice, you might consider what you can practice instead of what you can’t practice. If the mind is busy wanting to be somewhere else during the practice, see if you can be easy on yourself, simply continuing to notice the thoughts straying and gently bringing your attention back. If it continues to be a strong pull, maybe intentionally shift your practice to being aware of thoughts. Ultimately, having a regular mindfulness meditation practice seems so simple, but the practice isn’t always easy.

We have our brains to contend with that throws up all these obstacles. Even if you just made it your intention to be on the lookout for these obstacles and apply the antidotes as best you can, that would be an extremely beneficial practice.

Be forgiving of yourself as you go and remember you can always begin again!

With Permission: Mindfulness and Psychotherapy,

Elisha Goldstein, www.elishagoldstein.com

For more information about the next mindfulness course with Susie:

www.mindfulnesswithsusie.com