On Facing Our Fears Mindfully: When The Well Dries Up

In this week’s Torah portion, Chukat, Bnei Yisrael—the Children of Israel—complain in the desert after Miriam’s death, when their well of water suddenly dries up.

According to tradition, it was through Miriam’s merit that the people had a well that continuously provided water. Without it, they feared they would not survive.

They cry out to Moses and Aaron:“Why have you brought us out of Egypt to die in the wilderness?”

Their words place blame on Moses and Aaron, rather than recognizing a larger divine plan.

Up until this moment, they had never experienced a lack of water throughout their desert journey.

They were afraid.

Their fear—and, some would say, a loss of faith—shaped their reaction.

And this is deeply human.

Our brains are wired to focus on fear in order to keep us alive.

For early humans, this was essential. If our ancestors didn’t react quickly to every sound in their environment, they could have been attacked by a predator.

Today, however, most of us are not facing life-threatening danger on a daily basis. Instead, our stress is triggered by things like an overflowing email inbox, traffic, work deadlines, or tension in our relationships. These experiences can still create a powerful sense of anxiety and fear.

According to Robert Sapolsky, a professor of biology and neurology, chronic stress has a significant impact on our health. In fact, we’ve evolved to the point that we can literally “worry ourselves sick.”

In his research on primates—many of whom live with relatively few real threats—Sapolsky found that those under chronic stress often have elevated levels of stress hormones like cortisol, even in the absence of danger. Their bodies remain in a constant state of activation. As a result, their health suffers: healing slows, blood pressure rises, and their overall functioning declines.

As he famously put it:“99% of the beasts on this planet scream for three minutes on the savannah when they are afraid—then it’s over. We turn on the same stress response for a thirty-year mortgage.”

Stress itself is not the problem. It’s a natural and important response.

The difficulty arises when our internal alarm system is constantly activated—when every challenge feels like a threat.

Returning to the parsha: the people were indeed thirsty. Their fear made sense. And yet, they had already witnessed profound miracles—being taken out of Egypt, the splitting of the sea, and the daily provision of manna. They had reason to trust that water, too, would be provided.

How might mindfulness have helped them in that moment?And how can it help us today?

Like all emotions, fear can overwhelm us—but mindfulness offers a way to steady ourselves within it. It helps us see more clearly, to distinguish between real danger that requires action and perceived threats created by the mind.

Let’s explore a simple mindfulness practice for working with fear:

1)We can start our practice by naming our fear or whatever we’re feeling

Also known as name it to tame it: naming the emotions creates a distance between you and the reaction. You recognize that you’re experiencing an emotion, but you don't have to be caught up in or controlled by it.

Noticing and labeling emotions as they’re happening by saying to yourself:

I’m feeling ____________(fill in the blank)

2)Acknowledge the fear, perhaps by saying to yourself “I’m afraid or I’m suffering right now”. Sometimes admitting we are scared is harder than the actual fear.

3) Bring awareness to your body sensations. Simply noticing what sensations you’re experiencing in your body can soften the sensations and feelings and reduce unhealthy thoughts.

Take a moment; take a few breaths, and do a scan of different parts in your body to observe any sensations arising. Simply noticing without trying to change the sensations.

4) Befriend your fear, also known as "leaning into fear." Rather than avoiding it, see if you can gently lean in.

Allow the feelings to be there, noticing them with curiosity.If helpful, label them again: fear, tension, worry.

Approach your experience with kindness.There is nothing wrong with feeling afraid—it is part of being human.

See if you can notice how the fear shifts over time—rising, falling, changing.

This practice helps us relate differently to our inner world.We become less reactive, more aware.

As we begin to recognize what is happening in our body and mind—and in doing so, we send a signal to our nervous system that we are safe.

And from that place, a new story can begin to emerge.

Listen to this practice on Insight Timer:

https://insighttimer.com/skeinon/guided-meditations/facing-our-fears-mindfulness-and-parshat-chukat

Or on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/31bcmlESEvISXWsEgUiTxa?si=yCwFvy6rSpWebD6RHma1mA&utm_source=copy-link

To learn more about the next mindfulness course or workshop: https://www.mindfulnesswithsusie.com

Mindfulness With Susie

From Anger to Awareness: Korach's Rebellion

In this week’s Torah portion, Korach, Korach accuses Moses: “You have gone too far.”

He challenges Moses’s leadership, accusing him of elitism: “Why do you raise yourself above the congregation?” Beneath his words lies jealousy—of Moses’s position and authority.

Jealousy is deeply human.

Yet Korach had moments—opportunities—when he might have paused, stepped back, and gained perspective. He could have taken time to process his feelings and see the situation differently.

When we don’t pause, we risk jumping to conclusions without knowing all the facts. This can be destructive to relationships—like when parents, in the height of anger, punish their children in ways they later regret.

Interestingly, the Hebrew word for “nose” is af, and anger is charon af—literally “a flaring nose.” When we become angry, our nostrils flare. At the same time, G-d is described as Erech Apayim—“long-nosed,” a metaphor for patience, like that of a loving parent toward a child who has made a mistake.

Perhaps there is wisdom here: when anger arises, we can turn to the breath—specifically, breathing through the nose.

When we feel the fire of anger igniting, we can pause… and breathe.

In other words, we can practice mindful awareness. Perhaps Korach, too, might have benefited from a moment of mindful breathing.

Research supports this. A 2016 study found that participants who were intentionally angered became significantly calmer after just 20 minutes of meditation—even those with no prior experience. Their heart rate and blood pressure decreased.

Meditation helps protect both body and mind from the stress of anger—and from difficult emotions in general.

Emotions live in the body. We know this from experience: butterflies in the stomach when we’re nervous, warmth in the chest when we feel moved.

It can be more helpful to attend to these physical sensations than to the thoughts about them. Why? Because sensations move more slowly than thoughts—they are easier to stay with. They shift, change, and soften. Simply noticing them can ground us and help us settle.

We’ll now move into a short practice of noticing sensations in the body. I’ll leave moments of silence so you can observe your experience.

We’ll begin by finding a comfortable place to sit on a chair, on the floor. It doesn’t matter where you sit, but the attention that you bring to the practice. So wherever you can be the most awake and attentive. We’re going to be paying attention to body sensations. Placing your feet on the floor, your hands on your thighs, and sitting upright in an alert and comfortable way.

Noticing how your feet feel on the floor, noticing your hands on your thighs, and noticing the contact that your body makes with the chair, the ground or a cushion. Noticing your spine, if it’s resting on the chair or slightly off your chair.

Observing your breath and what it feels like to be breathing in this moment.

Bringing awareness to your physical sensations as you inhale, and as you exhale.

(pause)

And noticing your breath and the air entering and leaving your body.

Can you feel the air as it enters your nose? Is it warm or cool… Focusing on the temperature of the air as it enters your nose and leaves your nose. (Pause)

Paying attention to the sensations in your chest with each in-breath and each out- breath.

Perhaps contracting; expanding? Tightness; heaviness, lightness, a sense of flow…… Just noticing. (pause)

And now focusing on the stomach as the breath goes in and out.

What sensations do you notice there? Being curious about whatever you are noticing in your body right now. Expanding, contracting….. queasy, butterflies, knots,

lightness, calm?

And now noticing your clothing on your body.

Observing where you feel your clothing: is it tight or loose? Rough or soft?

We’re going to take a few moments to notice what’s happening in your body and any sensations arising, or falling away. Sensations such as: warmth, /heat, clammy or sweaty, coolness, dryness, tingling, prickly, trembling, an itch, heaviness, tension, stiffness, or perhaps numbness, relaxed.

Take a few moments now to scan your body from head to toe (or toes to head) PAUSE

And now bringing awareness to sensations in one place in your body– your face,

your chest or stomach; your back or legs…….

As you notice a sensation arising in your body, you can move your awareness to that sensation. For example, you become aware that you have an ache in your right knee. Move your awareness to the sensations in the right knee. Observing if the knee is it hot or cold?

Then maybe that sensation starts to fade, and you notice another sensation, this time an itch on the ear. Maintain your stillness and be aware of the itch. As this passes, another sensation might arise. Taking another moment and observing any and all sensations

You can widen your focus by noticing sensations coming from different places in your body, and also narrow your focus by paying attention to a specific place in your body when you notice a sensation.

Being mindful of physical sensations in the body can help you to become more connected to your body. You can start to differentiate between discomfort, and pain. It also helps with relaxing the body, as when you scan your body, you start to notice areas of tension and can start to allow yourself to relax.

Another advantage of noticing your bodily sensations is grounding yourself in the here and now -in your present reality as experienced through your body. This practice helps to achieve this groundedness in the present.

Taking a moment to appreciate taking care of yourself in this way.

While most of us don't get angry enough to incite rebellions like Korach, we can benefit from making an intention to continue with this practice.

You can listen to this on Insight Timer:

https://insighttimer.com/skeinon/guided-meditations/anger-and-rebellion

For more information about mindfulness with Susie:

https://www.mindfulnesswithsusie.com/about-the-mindfulness-course-with-susie

HEBREW

https://www.mindfulnesswithsusie.com/he/mindfulness-course-with-susie-lp

Complaining Versus Gratitude

In this week’s Torah portion Sh’lach, the people requested to check out the land of Israel before they enter. Twelve princes --people of stature--one from each tribe,

are chosen to go “spy” out the land of Israel, presumably to learn the character of the land and habits of its inhabitants or to help develop a military strategy.

They come back with a mixed report and conclude that it’s not possible to go into the promised land due to the inhabitants, who are giants and “stronger than them….. We are grasshoppers in their sight.” The people heard their report, panicked and said that it would have been better to die in the wilderness rather than try to enter the land that

G-d has promised them.

How is it that these same people who saw miracle after miracle and felt G-d’s constant protection and bounty were wailing to go back to Egypt, the land of their enslavement?

In times of prosperity there is a risk of ingratitude and forgetting all that we have.

Most of us are fortunate and have what we need–good health, family, employment.

We have a lot of good in our lives, but when things are not 100% right, we complain.

We are actually hard wired to remember the negative.

The negativity bias refers to our proclivity to “attend to, learn from, and use negative information far more than positive information”

Negative events often elicit stronger responses than non-negative events.

Which might explain why we often recall and think about insults more than compliments, dwell on unpleasant events more than pleasant ones, and focus our attention more quickly on negative rather than positive information

Gratitude is built into daily Jewish life.

The first thing we say when we wake up in the morning is Modeh Ani, thanking G-d for restoring our souls to us after a night’s sleep.

We are taught very early on in our lives, not to take things for granted and to demonstrate our appreciation and thankfulness and feelings of gratitude towards all kindness received and from whom we receive them. The first part of our morning prayers are blessings -called Birchot Hashachar– for things we may take for granted– getting out of bed, being able to see, the ability to walk, having our needs provided for, and so on.

How many of us wake up in the morning and really count our blessings? Many of us take these precious gifts and so many others for granted

Being grateful means, we have less to complain about. It makes life happier, being conscious of all that we have

Gratitude is a positive state of mind and expressing it gives us a sense of contentment and well being

According to Rabbi Eliezer Weisz of Kfar HaRoeh, in our daily lives, we must see

“That it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but the gratefulness that makes

us happy.”

Also, showing gratitude to other people brings happiness to the recipient.

Gratitude and appreciation are important in building healthy relationships

How do we look at the “big picture” before we start complaining? The big picture is that there is an abundance of blessings we are enjoying despite the bumps in the road that we sometimes go over.

How can we learn to cultivate gratitude?

And how can mindfulness practice help us?

Let’s start a mindfulness meditation on gratitude.

Settling in, in your chair, the floor or your bed. Inside or outside.

Where you are, is less important than the intention you bring to the practice.

Start with noticing something simple you are experiencing at this moment.

It could be the side of a tree swaying gently in the wind, or the warmth of sunlight on your skin, or maybe the experience of comfort from the chair you are sitting in, or the simple wonder of pausing in the midst of your busy life to engage with this practice right now.

Choose one thing to notice and allow it fully into your experience.

Let appreciation and gratitude arise and fill your body and mind (pause).

And now thinking of something else we may take for granted: the things that you use that support your work and your personal life. Your computer, your books, work space, car, equipment or tools, or anything else.

Choose one thing and consider all that was needed for it to be created.

Maybe you bought it at the store or received it from someone, but someone took the time to make it.

Appreciate and feel gratitude that you have access to these things. (pause)

And taking a moment to feel gratitude for people you work and live with.

Think of a particular person whose work or effort directly supports your work in life. Appreciate their contribution, their good intention, saying in your mind to them,

“Thank you.” (pause)

Now bring to mind someone you care about. Picture them in your mind.

Think about what this person means to you. What you appreciate about them, who they are, the support you have received, and the impact that they’ve had in your life.

As you imagine them, notice what feelings you are experiencing, what sensations are coming up in your body, especially those in the area of your heart. Maybe feeling that area around your heart expanding.

Let yourself express gratitude towards them. Thanking them for being who they are and for their presence in your life. Imagine them receiving your gratitude. (pause)

Now bring to mind something, in particular, you are grateful for today. Feel the appreciation and gratitude for its presence in your life.

As you bring these things to mind for what you’re grateful for, allow yourself to rest in the experience. (pause)

When you cultivate the practice of gratitude, you may even find yourself able to be grateful for difficult or unpleasant experiences.

If you’d like to bring to mind an experience in your life that is challenging, one for which you’d like to be able to express gratitude.

Offer your gratitude and appreciation. Thank this challenge for what it may offer you. Gratitude for our body, gratitude for our mind, gratitude for the simple fact of being alive at this moment (pause).

Finally, appreciate the opportunity to pause and experience this very practice of gratitude in itself. For all that you have brought to mind during this meditation, for all of the countless gifts in your life, say, “Thank you.”

Allow the sense of gratitude to fill you completely as you breathe in and breath out.

Settling on the breath right here, right now, fully alive and present in this very moment.

Finish with a full deep breath in and a long breath out.

Gently and slowly open your eyes and return your awareness to the place where you are.

If you’d like to continue practicing gratitude meditation, make an intention to think about something you feel grateful for every morning right when you wake up. You could write it down in a journal.

I am grateful for you for joining me in this practice.

Listen to this on Insight Timer: https://insighttimer.com/skeinon/guided-meditations/complaining-versus-gratitude-mindfulness-and-parshat-shlach

Or listen on Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/6T2wqnoW2e7c40T8aqRyGo?si=WT4-qhT1Tce0jqYwx4

For more information about mindfulness with Susie: www.mindfulnesswithsusie.com

Mindfulness With Susie