Compassionate Justice and Parshat Devarim

Compassionate Justice Leads to Self-Compassion: Parshat Devarim

This week’s Torah portion Deuteronomy, or Devarim, means words.

Moses gives a speech to the people of Israel before they enter the Land of Israel without him.

He talks about justice and appointing impartial judges to help him decide cases between the people.“Hear the causes between your brothers and judge righteously… Listen to small and great alike, for judgment belongs to G-d”

Judge righteously.

What does that mean? Judgment (משפט) goes together with righteousness (צדק).

Tzedek is difficult to translate– charity, righteousness, integrity, equity, fairness, but it’s more than strict justice.

The Rambam( Maimonides), says justice is giving everyone their due -it’s not charity. It’s the decent thing to do

Tzedek or justice must be reinforced with compassion.

Justice combined with compassion can create a more fair and humane society.

We are commemorating Tisha B’Av, a national day of mourning for the destruction of the first and second Temples this Sunday.

The reason for the destruction of the Second Temple was due to senseless hatred. In other words, compassion was lacking and people ignored those in need and judged people unfairly.

Have we learned our lesson? Are we still to blame for this today?

How can we cultivate a more compassionate society?

How can we treat people more kindly?

What about mindful self-compassion?

We’re often pretty good at demonstrating compassion for others, but not so much for ourselves.

According to Kristin Neff, researcher and expert on self-compassion,

"Self-compassion is kindness toward the self, which entails being gentle, supportive, and understanding: Rather than harshly judging oneself for personal shortcomings, the self is offered warmth and unconditional acceptance. In other words, being kind to ourselves in good times and bad, in sickness and in health—and even when we make mistakes."

Self-compassion is learned in part by connecting with our innate compassion for others, and it also helps to grow and sustain our compassion for ourselves.

To build a practice of mindful self-compassion takes time and requires, as you might guess, a lot of compassion. Most of us feel compassion when a close friend is struggling. What would it be like to receive the same caring attention whenever you needed it most? Try shifting the direction of your attention—recognizing that as a human being, you too, are a worthy recipient of compassion.If you notice your inner critic or negative thoughts about yourself, try bringing awareness to the critical inner voice—without trying to change anything. Maybe this voice is from your past? Can you soften it a little now?

Self -Compassionate Breathing Exercise

Let’s try this practice by Kristin Neff called affectionate breathing:

Settling into a comfortable position where your body is supported.

Close your eyes, or keep your eyes open and lower your gaze in front of you.

Getting in touch with your body and noticing any sensations in this moment.

Doing a quick scan of areas in your body -noticing if the sensations are pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral.

Take a few breaths to let out tension from your day.

Where do you feel the breathe most obviously or strongly?

Your nose, chest or stomach…. take a moment to observe your breath. Your body knows how to breathe itself so you don’t need to control it in any way.

Adopt a little half smile (not strained or forced) allowing the corners of your mouth to turn up a little. Notice how that makes you feel.

Maybe happiness with the present moment?

Breathing in and out and noticing how each in- breath and out-breath feels (pause).

Noticing how your body is nourished and perhaps energized with each breath.

Try to let your breath be touched with tenderness and care for yourself and others

Even if you don’t really feel it.

Allowing each breath to breathe in kindness for yourself and others ( pause)

Your mind will naturally wander as you do this.

Just notice. No need to judge yourself. Everyone’s mind wanders

The moment you notice, bringing your attention back to the breath is a moment of mindfulness.

Feeling some appreciation for your breath right now- it helps us stay alive.

Breathing in some kindness and affection for yourself and others(pause).

Remembering your little half smile.

If your mind wanders, gently bringing your attention back to noticing your breath

letting your breath comfort and soothe your body and releasing any tension there.

Noticing the gentle flow of your breath (pause)

The breath isn’t focused on improving style or rushing to reach the end of some daily to do list in order to take a break.

We can learn a lot from the breath from its natural rhythm, pace, and the way the breath continues its work, without making a big deal out of it.

Letting go of all efforts to change anything right now.

And allowing yourself to be held(pause).

Letting go of any ideas of meditating or achieving anything with permission to rest here, right now.

When you get distracted, bring awareness back to your breath without judgment.

Noticing any feelings being generated from your half smile and kindness being breathed in and out.

If it feels right to you , imagining your heart opening to receive these feelings of kindness (pause)

How does your body feel? What emotions are you feeling? (pause)

Allow yourself to rest in all of your experience and let yourself feel what you’re feeling.

Knowing that whenever you need it, you can come back to this anchor, this gentle rhythm of your breathing, like an internal caress– to be held and cared for whenever you need it.

Giving ourselves room to be human or flawed, allows us to kindly reflect and improve on ourselves, and that can impact how we treat ourselves, and others, and help in building a more compassionate and just society.

Listen to this on Insight Timer App:

https://insig.ht/PDay56TMesb

https://insighttimer.com/skeinon/guided-meditations/compassionate-breathing-and-parshat-devarim

Walking Mindfully : The Journey in Parshat Masei

Parshat Masei and Mindful Walking Meditation

This week’s Torah portion, Masei, mentions 42 places where B'nei Yisrael, the children of Israel, encamped in their forty years in the wilderness. We are not told the names of all the places.

Just imagine the logistics of hundreds of thousands of people journeying through the wilderness and stopping to rest from their wanderings and setting up camp!

Why is this mentioned?

Sometimes we recall places that we visited fondly or nostalgically. Sometimes the memories are negative, and we remember them because of how frightened or unhappy we were there.

The people encamped in each place on average for two years (according to Torah commentator Rashi), and according to our sages, each stop was meant to teach them something, and perhaps to help them strengthen their faith in G-d, who was their protector and provided them with all their basic needs. The people often complained and were impatient to move on to the next stop. Is mentioning these 42 places a rebuke to B'nei Yisrael for their grumbling and rebellious behavior during their journey?

What is the purpose of the Torah's detailed description of all these stops just as the people get ready to enter the Land of Israel?

The journey between Egypt and Israel is not very far -- it's much less than a 40

year trek -- so it’s unlikely that the emphasis is on the physical journey.

R. Jonathan Sacks explains that this journey was a mental and spiritual one.

There were so many challenges along the way. G-d was with the people, but they lacked faith and clung to their slave mentality.

Slowly they got stronger and built up their endurance, but it takes time, and apparently many stages.

Actually, their journey was just starting, as they would soon enter the Promised Land and continue to grow individually, and as a nation.

We are not so different from these former slaves. Most of us know how to get from A to B pretty easily, but we too often become impatient and ungrateful during the journey.

Do we remember how we got there? Do we remember all the points along the way?

In everyday life, we lose touch with the present moment as we run around multi-tasking and checking things off of our to-do list.

We are not really “there” a lot of the time. Our mind is caught up in worries and fears about the future or regrets about the past. That state of being is called forgetfulness—you are there but you are not there.

Mindfulness can help us be more present in the everyday tasks that we do.

Mindful breathing meditation helps us to focus, sharpens our attention, and helps us to be more aware of our surroundings. There is another practice that we can do for this purpose: mindful walking meditation.

Taking an everyday activity that we give very little thought to, and bringing our awareness to it.

Meditation master Thich Nhat Hanh teaches:

In our daily lives, we have the habit of running. We seek peace, success, and love—we are always on the run—and our steps are one means by which we run away from the present moment. But life is available only in the present moment; peace is available only in the present moment. Taking a step means to stop running. For those of us who are used to always running, it is a revolution to make a step, and stop running. We make a step, and if we know how to make it, peace becomes available in that moment of touching the earth with our feet.

It would be a pity to let a whole day pass without enjoying walking on the earth.

Walking meditation is a form of meditation in action.

In walking meditation, we use the experience of walking as our focus. We become mindful of our experience while walking and aware of the movements of the body and its physical sensations

Let’s practice walking meditation together-

Choose a quiet place where you can walk comfortably back and forth, indoors or out, about the length of an exercise mat. Begin by standing at one end of your mat or space, becoming aware of the weight of your body and the contact with the ground.

We take our ability to be balanced for granted, so take a minute to notice the work that it takes for us to stand upright and keep our balance. Let your hands rest easily, wherever they are comfortable.

Close your eyes for a moment, noticing the contact your feet are making with the ground while letting the ground support you.

Begin to walk slowly. Let yourself walk with a sense of ease while allowing yourself to be alert.

Pay attention to your body. With each step, feel the sensations of lifting your foot and leg off the ground and be aware as you place your foot down.

Notice the back heel maybe lifting off the ground as you take a step with the other foot.

Let your walking be easy and natural. Feel each step mindfully as you walk.

You might want to say to yourself, “lifting, moving, placing” as you lift up your foot to take a step. Or breathe in as you lift your foot, and breathe out as you place your foot down. When you reach the end of your path, stop for a moment. Before you turn around, notice the intention to do so. Slowly turn around and notice what it takes, all the parts of your body involved in turning around, starting with the feet, legs, torso, neck and head. Turn around carefully so that you can be aware of the first step as you walk back.

You can experiment with the speed, walking at whatever pace keeps you most present. Continue to walk back and forth for ten minutes or longer.

As with the breath in sitting meditation, your mind will wander. As soon as you notice this, acknowledge it and return to feeling the next step. After some practice with walking meditation, you may be able to calm yourself and live more wakefully in your body.

Walking meditation can easily be integrated into our schedules since walking is something most of us do every day. Even walking from the car into the supermarket can be an opportunity for a minute’s walking meditation.

Each one of us can bring more awareness to our own journey. We might occasionally complain and get antsy, like B'nei Yisrael, but ultimately we do have some control over the speed and direction of where we’re going, and we can be truly present as we move through our life.

Listen on Insight Timer (On the app): https://insig.ht/aU6xAnNy1rb

Or from your PC:

https://insighttimer.com/skeinon/guided-meditations/mindfully-walking-parshat-masei

Mindfully Listening and Parshat Matot: What Do Vows Have To Do With It

Mindfully Listening: Mindfulness and Parshat Matot

The beginning of the weekly Torah portion, Matot, opens with Moses’ instructions to the tribes about vows and oaths– how they should be honored and what are the rules if they need to be annulled. “When a man makes a vow or takes an oath to obligate himself by a pledge, he must not break his word and must do everything he said.”

What does this have to do with the preparation of entering the Land of Israel after a 40 year sojourn in the wilderness?

Rabbi Jonathan Sacks explains that as the Children of Israel are getting ready to enter the Promised Land, they are preparing to build a society– a just and orderly society with Torah laws as the basis.

Besides law and order, for a society to function people need to trust each other, as well as the leaders and those who enforce the laws. We need to trust the leaders and the enforcers of the laws.

One cardinal way to foster trust is by keeping your word, keeping your promises.

Words are important.

Rabbi Sacks notes that the world was created with words– “And G-d said, let there be…. and there was.”

G-d can do that. G-d, through words, can create entire worlds.

For people to create reality with words, someone has to hear those words. If I want to delegate a task at work or home, someone needs to hear what I’m saying to make it happen. For people, words are impactful when someone hears them- when there is a listener. Listening is key in human relations.

Through mindfulness practice, we can work on skills such as listening, hearing, accepting, and paying attention to the conditions that have been established at this very moment.

Mindfulness practice allows us to first and foremost listen to ourselves—and not just our ideas, but also our feelings, our impulses, and our bodies. When we can listen to ourselves, we can then better listen to others: If people feel heard, then they are more likely to trust. Mindful listening is a way of listening without judgment, criticism, or interruption while being aware of internal thoughts and reactions that may get in the way of people communicating with you effectively.

If your mind and attention are not engaged, you may miss everything the speaker said. This is the difference between hearing what is said versus listening to what is said. Hearing is the physical ability to hear sound, but listening is actively processing what you’re receiving and responding appropriately.

Tips for Mindful Listening

• Eliminate distractions during the conversation, such as cell phones, noises, and anything else that will hinder your ability to focus on the person and make them feel valued. (important)

• Focus on what is true for the speaker at the moment

• Suspend judgment and listen openly

• Listen to the words & the underlying perceptions, beliefs and assumptions

• Attentive body language through soft eye contact, leaning forward slightly, open body stance

• Non-verbal encouragers such as head nods, concerned / responsive facial expressions

• Express empathy when appropriate

• Paraphrase what the speaker has said when they are done

• Focus our attention on the speaker’s experiences or ideas, noticing yourself referencing your own experiences that might arise and letting that go

• Notice how you’re listening to someone, and whether you’re already formulating your response while the other person is speaking, rather than processing what is being said. A successful outcome can depend on a couple of things: how you are and what you say. How you are, meaning supportive, curious, or problem-solving– will greatly influence what you say. Don’t assume others can see things from your point of view. Ask yourself if you have personal trigger points with the person you’re listening to such as an earlier argument or sensitivity in your relationship.

Any of these factors could impact how you listen, and will require an extra layer of reflectivity to keep the space open for good listening.

Practice being aware of your body language while you’re in a conversation. While listening, do you nod a lot? Do you allow your gaze to wander, or stare at the speaker too much? Becoming aware of what your body language communicates to others helps you become not only a more effective communicator but also a more effective listener. By helping the speaker feel that you’re truly listening and engaged, you facilitate trust and better communication. Listening is not passive.

Try this mindful listening exercise with another person:

-Set a timer for 3 minutes:

-Person one speaks for 3 mins while person two listens

You can share something on your mind or something that happened to you recently.

You don’t have to fill the entire 3 minutes. If you run out of things to say, just stop speaking and sit in silence until you feel like talking again. Your turn is over when 3 minutes are up

-Person one starts with ” I want to share with you ……….”

This can be anything, positive, negative or neutral.

-Person two practices mindful listening, which means listening, without responding,

and noticing when thoughts or a response comes up in the mind.

-When number one finishes, number two says “Thank you for sharing”. Nothing more.

-Switch roles, with person two now as the mindful speaker and one as a mindful listener.

-Reset the timer for 3 minutes.

When you listen mindfully, you are fully present in the moment, which means you can absorb the speaker's whole message, and he can feel heard and respected. By being present, cultivating empathy, and listening to your own cues, you can learn to let go of reactions and other distractions that block your understanding, so that you can be open to the ideas of others. Just as taking and fulfilling vows in the parsha was a way of building up trust needed for a healthy society, so too can mindful listening help build stronger and healthier relationships, and that could have a ripple effect with far-reaching societal impact.

*Listen on Insight Timer: https://insighttimer.com/skeinon/guided-meditations/mindful-listening-mindfulness-and-parshat-matot