Unleashing Our Potential: Mindfulness & Parshat Pinchas

Unleashing Our Potential: Mindfulness & Parshat Pinchas

In Pinchas, this week’s Torah portion, we learn about two situations where people come forward to passionately act on their beliefs: Pinchas the high priest and grandson of Aharon, and the daughters of Tzelolfhad.

Pinchas sees Bnei Yisrael, the children of Israel, consorting with foreign women and engaging in idol worship. One such person, Zimri, was a prince of the tribe of Shimon -- a dignitary of sorts -- and was flaunting his immoral behavior in public. Pinchas dares

to be the judge and executioner and kills Zimri on the spot. Because of his action,

the punishment of a plague is stayed and the people are saved.

But for our sages, it is not so simple, as they are divided and conflicted about his move since it was effectively executed without a trial. Pinchas acted on his own out of his zealotry. The rabbis teach that this was a one time situation, and that we should not contemplate taking similar action into our own hands.

Later on in the parsha, we read another story, about the courageous and idealistic daughters of Tzelofhad. Their father died, and they went to Moses to ask for their inheritance in the Land of Israel, something that up until that time was assumed would only go to sons, not daughters.

"Let not our father’s name be lost to his tribe just because he had no son!" they said. The daughters stood up for what they knew to be right and mustered the courage to advocate for themselves and for others.

Both Pinchas and the daughters of Tzelofhad were passionate and took action based on their beliefs. In so doing, they fulfilled their potential despite the risks.

We all have potential. How can we cultivate this potential?

What are you passionate about? What is important to you?

First of all, clarifying your values is a good place to start.

As you clarify what is important to you and what you are passionate about, here are a few suggestions to keep in mind :

1) Know Yourself

When you truly know yourself, when you honestly recognize your strengths and weaknesses, you can see what you want to improve in yourself and move in that direction. But it always begins with honestly knowing yourself.

For example, if you wish to become more efficient in your work, you have to be transparent with what’s holding you back — perhaps you put things off or need help to organize your time.

2) Let Go of Perfectionism

Perfectionism is not healthy and does not help us achieve what we want; it’s not the same as trying to be our best. The perfect is the enemy of the good. We should strive to improve ourselves, not by being overly self-critical, but rather from a place of looking at ourselves in a non-judgemental, calm and level-headed manner.

3) Push Yourself Outside of Your Comfort Zone

To grow and reach your potential, it’s important to take on challenges that push you outside of your comfort zone. Over time, you might feel confident in taking on even bigger challenges.

To quote Brene Brown, “you can choose courage or you can choose comfort. You cannot have both.” Stepping outside of your comfort zone, into what is referred to as the “growth zone,” isn’t comfortable! This doesn’t necessarily mean diving into the deep end, but rather finding a healthy balance.

In what areas of life do you choose to stay in your comfort zone?

Where could you push yourself more?

4) Think of What really Matters to You

What do you believe in? What brings you the most joy or gets you excited?

It could, for example, be exploring new places, relationships, learning a new skill, or volunteering in your community.

How do you figure out what really matters to you?

Try “meditating on it!"

Let’s try this Mindfulness Practice for exploring what’s important to you

Start by defining your core values by asking yourself what you must have in your life to feel fulfilled. Some examples of core values are family, creativity, prosperity, wellness, adventure, knowledge, justice, and gratitude.

Here are a few questions to help you define your core values:

* If you had to immediately evacuate your home, what important objects would you pack?

*What values are indispensable to your life?

*What values are crucial to supporting your inner self?

Mirabai Bush, a fellow at the Center for the Contemplative Mind and mindfulness teacher, teaches this mindful practice:

Sit quietly, breathing in and out.

Think of the values that matter most to you and how they might be utilized in a job or hobby. Taking a moment and holding this image in your mind, and see what arises.

Don’t push things aside because they don’t make sense.

Be open to what arises. Allow its story to unfold without judgment.

Does this story point to a new activity or direction for you?

Allow yourself to pause and take a deep breath.

Try to adopt a beginner’s mind while you are contemplating these questions, in other words, approaching them like you’re seeing them for the first time with no preconceived ideas of what you’re thinking about. This may help give you access to the answers that your conscious mind might not be aware of yet.

Bring awareness of your breath. Remember that your mind doesn’t have all the answers. Create a space for new insights and revelations to emerge.

Don’t be discouraged if your first answers don’t reveal a strong passion.

Not all of us have a fiery passion inside us like Pinchas and the daughters of Tzelolfhad.

We can continue to ask ourselves what is important to us, and listen gently to the answers. And then we can truly start living by our values to fulfill our potential.

*Listen to this on Insight Timer:

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An Abundance of Blessings

An Abundance of Blessings: Mindfulness and Parshat Balak

In this week's Torah portion, Balak, Balaam is approached by King Balak of Moab to curse Bnei Yisrael, the people of Israel. Balaam was a pagan prophet whose fame reached far and wide.

Balak feels threatened by Bnei Yisrael– this strange and vast people who were enslaved in Egypt and who “cover the face of the earth” .

“I know that whoever you bless is blessed and whoever you curse is cursed,” Balak tells Balaam.

Balak promises riches to Balaam in exchange for cursing Bnei Yisrael..

Balaam explains that he can only say words that G-d approves of ("I cannot go beyond the word of G-d”).

Three times Balaam goes to curse the people and three times instead of cursing them, he blesses them.

The third time he says: “מַה־טֹּ֥בוּ אֹהָלֶ֖יךָ יַעֲקֹ֑ב מִשְׁכְּנֹתֶ֖יךָ יִשְׂרָאֵֽל׃

“How goodly are your tents, O Jacob, your dwellings, Israel.” (Numbers 24:5)

Did Balaam really believe what he said, or were these words put in his mouth by G-d that he merely articulated?

Well known Jewish commentator Rashi says that Balaam did see good in Bnei Yisrael. He took a deep look and noticed something small– that there were spaces between the tents, affording the people privacy and allowing them to conduct their lives modestly.

Whether or not Balaam understood the blessings that G-d placed in his mouth,

what we can learn from this story is the idea of taking a deeper look at all the things around us. Where can we rediscover the good in our homes, neighborhoods and society? What assumptions deserve a fresh look and deeper reflection?

Another lesson from this week’s Torah portion is to cultivate our belief in the power of blessings and love. Balaam set out to give curses, but in the end delivered blessings.

Rabbi Jonathan Sacks comments that G-d is teaching us that love can turn curses into blessings. “It is the only force capable of defeating hate. Love heals the wounds of the world.”

We are often compelled in today's world to be consumed by our fears and to think in terms of “us versus them”.

How can we develop our capacity to appreciate what we have around us? How can we turn our inclination to curse into a tendency to bless?

Mindfulness can help us to perceive things as they really are, and notice and appreciate things that we might take for granted. As a result, we might be inclined to recite blessings, such as “How goodly are your tents..”

Loving kindness meditation is a practice which involves repeating a set of phrases sending out blessings for you, people you care for and all beings, such as be happy, be peaceful, and be healthy.

Sharon Salzberg, author of Lovingkindness, explains:

…”the practice of loving-kindness is about cultivating love as a strength, a muscle, a tool that challenges our tendency to see people–including ourselves–as disconnected and isolated from one another. Loving-kindness is about opening ourselves up to others with compassion. “

We will now do a loving kindness meditation together.

Take a moment to settle in . Getting comfortable in your chair or wherever you’re sitting.

Checking your posture . Sitting straight, shoulders relaxed.

Taking a moment to notice your breath. (pause)

Observing the rhythm of your breath.

Allowing your breath to flow naturally, and reciting inwardly the following phrases directed to your own well-being. Beginning with yourself. You begin with yourself because without loving yourself it is difficult to love others.

You can create your own phrases that you connect to and best open your heart. Repeat these phrases over and over again, letting the feelings permeate your body and mind.

So sending yourself these blessings:

May I be safe and free from harm

May I be healthy in mind and body

May I be free from suffering and live with ease

May I be happy.

May I treat myself kindly and compassionately

As you repeat these phrases, picture yourself as you are now, with compassion and loving kindness.

This meditation may at times feel awkward to you. It can also bring up mixed feelings or difficult feelings. If this happens, be extra patient and kind towards yourself,

And now bringing into your mind someone that you care about very much — a parent, a partner, a child, a sibling, a friend, a teacher — someone you love from the present or past . Someone who cares for you. Thinking of them makes you smile. You might have more than one. Pick one for now. If a person doesn’t come to mind, maybe someone who you know to be inspirational or you admire; someone it is easy to imagine sending good intentions or blessings to. Imagine this person that you are thinking of sitting next to you. Imagine that they can feel your presence, and feel you wishing them well as you send them these blessings:

May you be safe and free from harm May you be healthy in body and mind May you be free from suffering and live with ease May you be happy May you treat yourself kindly and compassionately

Taking a few minutes now to feel how it is to wish these things for this person, letting yourself have a sense of these blessings emanating from you to them, connecting you to them…

Let the image and feelings you have for this person arise and wash over you. Some people find lovingkindness for themselves difficult, so they begin their practice with someone they care about. That’s fine. Follow the way that most easily opens your heart.

And now think of someone that you would recognize if you saw them, but you don’t know them that well— a familiar stranger, such as the cashier at your grocery store or the person who cuts your hair. You probably don’t think about this person very much, but maybe you appreciate them and would like to send them good wishes. Imagine sending this person these blessings while they receive them :

May you be safe and free from harm

May you be healthy in body and mind.

May you be free from suffering and live with ease

May you be happy

May you treat yourself kindly and compassionately

Let any and all feelings arise within you (pause)

And now think about people you know such as neighbors, co-workers, extended family, and picture yourself standing with these people. You can bring in as many people as you want. When you have the image in you mind, wish all of you these blessings (pause):

May we be safe and free from harm

May we be healthy in body and mind.

May we be free from suffering and live with ease

May we be happy.

May we treat ourselves kindly and compassionately

Allow these blessings to flow from you to these people and also from them to you.

Take a moment to feel their presence . (pause)

And now returning to noticing your breath. Focusing on the area of the heart and lungs and imagining that area expanding and allowing all these blessings in. (pause)

May all of us everywhere feel safe and happy, live with ease, and treat ourselves kindly and compassionately. May we, in our beautiful and challenging world, lean into love, trust our “goodly” perspectives, listen to our hearts, and offer blessings to all with whom we meet.

Listen to this on Insight Timer: https://insighttimer.com/skeinon/guided-meditations/an-abundance-of-blessings-mindfulness-and-parshat-balak

On Facing Our Fears Mindfully: When The Well Dries Up

In this week’s Torah portion, Chukat, Bnei Yisrael, the Children of Israel, complain in the desert after Miriam dies and their water-well dries up. Because of Miriam’s merit, the people had a well that was always filled with water. Without the well, they might die.

They cried to Moses and Aaron:

“Why have you brought us out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? !” Implying it was Moses and Aaron’s fault, and not necessarily G-d’s plan.

The people had not experienced a lack of water in all their wanderings in the desert.

They were afraid. They allowed their fears -- and some say lack of faith -- to influence their reaction.

Our brains are wired to focus on fear to ensure our survival.

That’s a good thing.

For the cavemen, this ensured their survival. If our ancestors didn’t overreact to every sound in their environment, they could be attacked and eaten by a lion. We, on the other hand, are not threatened by literal death on a daily basis. Instead, we are threatened by our email inbox, traffic, worries about work deadlines, a disagreement we had with our spouse, and other daily experiences that create a sense of anxiety and fear.

According to Professor of Biology and Neurology, Robert Sapolsky, if you get chronically stressed, it’s going to affect your health. In other words, we've evolved to the extent that we literally "worry ourselves sick." Sapolsky studied primates considered to have relatively low real stressors and threats in their daily lives. It turns out that unhealthy primates, like unhealthy people, often have elevated resting levels of stress hormones such as Cortisol. Physiologically their bodies are activated in the absence of danger or threat –meaning internally they’re not calm. "Their reproductive system doesn't work as well, their wounds heal more slowly, and they have elevated blood pressure and heart problems. So they're not in great shape."

“99% of the beasts on this planet scream for 3 minutes on the savannah when they

are afraid, after which it’s over. We turn on the identical stress response for a thirty-year mortgage.”

So stress is a normal bodily response that isn’t necessarily bad by itself. The problem arises when your brain sounds the alarm for every little thing that happens.

Going back to the parsha, the people stressed because they were thirsty, but G-d had already taken them out of Egypt, split the red sea on their behalf, and gave them manna that fell from the sky to eat during their journey in the desert. They could have known that He would come through again and provide them with water.

How could mindfulness have helped the Children of Israel then, and how can the same techniques help us now?

As with all emotions, the practice of meditation can stabilize us enough in the midst of fear to help us see more clearly—to distinguish a false threat from a real threat that needs to be acted upon. Meditation can have an effect on the fears that we create in our own minds.

Let’s try this mindfulness practice to cope with our fears.

1)We can start our practice by naming our fear or whatever we’re feeling

Also known as name it to tame it : naming the emotions creates a distance between you and the reaction. You recognize that you’re experiencing an emotion, but you don't have to be caught up in or controlled by it.

Noticing and labeling emotions as they’re happening by saying to yourself :

I’m feeling ____________(fill in the blank)

2)Acknowledge the fear, perhaps by saying to yourself “ I’m afraid or I’m suffering right now”. Sometimes admitting we are scared is harder than the actual fear.

3) Bring awareness to your body sensations. Simply noticing what sensations you’re experiencing in your body can soften the sensations and feelings and reduce unhealthy thoughts.

Take a moment; take a few breaths, and do a scan of different parts in your body to observe any sensations arising. Simply noticing without trying to change the sensations.

4) Befriend your fear, also known as leaning into fear

Whenever you feel fear, don’t avoid the feeling. Sit with it. For example, you have a fear of getting fired from your job or you have to visit your mother in law. Allow any and all feelings to come up and observe them . You can also label them as feelings which puts some space between the feeling and reaction, and prevents you from spiraling into imagined catastrophe.

Try to approach the feeling with compassion. Be kind toward yourself for being afraid, don't beat-up on yourself for being afraid. There is nothing wrong with being afraid, it's natural. Mindfulness can help us put that fear in proportion. See what happens when you stay with the fear, and see if you can notice it rise and fall in your mind and body.

This practice allows us to write our own stories about what we are experiencing in our emotional world. It becomes easier for us to recognize what’s happening in our body, and easier for us to signal to our brain that it’s okay to relax—and that can create a whole new story.

Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/31bcmlESEvISXWsEgUiTxa?si=yCwFvy6rSpWebD6RHma1mA&utm_source=copy-link

Or Insight Timer: https://insighttimer.com/skeinon/guided-meditations/facing-our-fears-mindfulness-and-parshat-chukat